9 ways to get through the holidays when you’re just not feeling it

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The holidays can be tough when things haven’t been great or if you’re simply not in the mood for the usual traditions. It’s important to know that it’s okay to do things differently. Whether you’re going on an outdoor activity or skipping the whole thing entirely, you can switch things up this holiday season.

A woman in a red coat holds a mug, gazing into the distance during a sunset, finding solace to help get through the holidays.
Struggling with the holidays? Here’s how to shift your traditions, simplify celebrations or skip them entirely without guilt. Photo credit: Depositphotos.

It’s often the expectations of others that drive us to keep celebrating the same way year after year. When you’re family has suffered a loss or a change in situation, you may just need to take a break. And that’s okay. 

Whether overwhelmed with feelings or things to do, these are both great reasons to consider changing your tradition. This can be a real change for the holiday moving forward. Or it can be a change for just one year. Your life is up to you. 

Change things up

If the situation above describes you, you’re not alone. Many families adjust their celebrations as life moves along.

Change the food you serve or the time you serve it

If the traditional holiday meal doesn’t feel right this year, change it up. Instead of turkey, try roast beef. Instead of stuffing, potatoes and sweet potatoes, consider simple baked potatoes. Several pies can be simplified to one perfect pecan pie

Switch it up entirely and serve your favorite comfort foods instead of the usual feast. Consider moving dinner to lunch or brunch. It’s your holiday, and no rules say you should stick to the same old routine. 

Make a smaller feast

If a big holiday spread feels overwhelming, opt for a more intimate, scaled-back version. Skip the turkey and cook your favorite dishes in smaller portions or make a cozy meal with a roasted chicken for just a few close friends or family members. Simplifying can take the pressure off and let you enjoy the day more.

Make it a day of service

Sometimes, giving back is the best way to get through the holidays. Spend the day volunteering at a local shelter or helping an organization in need. Turning the day into one of service can shift the focus from your own challenges and bring a sense of fulfillment.

Try a change of scenery

If the holidays at home feel too heavy, go simple. Consider escaping to an Airbnb for a change of scenery. A quiet retreat, a cabin in the woods or a beachside getaway can be a refreshing break from the usual holiday chaos and give you time to relax and reset.

Take the day off

Buy a pre-made holiday meal from a local restaurant, grocery store or butcher shop to take the stress out of holiday cooking. This lets you enjoy the holiday without spending hours in the kitchen, freeing up time for rest, relaxation or whatever you’d rather be doing.

Have someone else host

If you’re not up to hosting this year, don’t be afraid to pass the torch. Let a family member or friend host the holiday gathering. Consider a potluck where everyone contributes their favorite dish. You can still be part of the celebration without taking on all the responsibility. Stepping down allows others to explore cooking their favorite dishes, their version of mashed potatoes or give them space to become great bakers. 

Skip the whole thing entirely 

This one takes some dedication but it can also be curative. If you’re really not feeling the holidays, it’s okay to skip the work altogether. Spend the day watching your favorite movies, and enjoying potpies in your pajamas. Sometimes taking the pressure off and treating it like any other day can be the most comforting choice.

Spend the day in nature

Instead of staying inside, consider spending the holiday outdoors. A peaceful walk, a hike or even just sitting in a quiet park can be a soothing way to celebrate the day on your own terms. A refreshing outdoor activity can help you face whatever you’re feeling. 

Celebrate on a different day

If the actual day feels stressful or overwhelming or just too much, consider celebrating on a different day when things are calmer. Spacing out the festivities can take the pressure off the actual holiday and let you enjoy a more relaxing day.

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Breathe easy

It’s important to remember that you don’t have to stick to the same holiday traditions every year, especially when life has changed or you’re simply not feeling up to it. Whether you’re overwhelmed, grieving or not in the mood, it’s okay to adjust how you celebrate or take a break from it all. 

You have the freedom to change things in a way that feels right for you, whether it’s making a smaller meal, turning the day into one of service or even skipping the holiday altogether. You might find peace by spending the day in nature, getting away or celebrating on a different day. However, if you choose to approach the holidays, know that there’s no right or wrong way to do it — what matters most is taking care of yourself and honoring what you need during this time.

Laura Sampson of Little House Big Alaska is on a mission to teach modern family-oriented home cooks how to make old-fashioned foods new again. She shares her passion for home cooking, backyard gardening and homesteading on her website and blog.

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