Understanding the principles of authoritative parenting

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Parenting styles have evolved over the years, influenced by cultural shifts, societal norms and research findings. A parenting style that has gained recognition for its positive outcomes is authoritative parenting. But what exactly does it entail, and why is it considered effective?

A father and son working on a paper in the kitchen.
Photo credit: YayImages.

What is an authoritative parenting style?

Imagine a parent who’s both a supportive coach and a firm guide, cheering on their child from the sidelines while offering clear instructions and boundaries. That’s the essence of authoritative parenting, a style that balances warmth and structure to help children blossom into confident, capable individuals.

Authoritative parenting isn’t a new trend. It has roots in the work of famed psychologist Diana Baumrind in the 1960s. She identified three main parenting styles  —  authoritarian, permissive and authoritative. Both of the parenting styles prevalent at that time have their limitations authoritarian parenting style is too strict and controlling, and permissive parenting style is overly lenient. So Baumrind sought a middle ground and envisioned a parenting approach that fostered both love and guidance in a nurturing family environment. This allows children to develop their independence while respecting the importance of rules and boundaries.

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The benefits of authoritative parenting

According to the PLoS One Journal, research has consistently shown that children raised in authoritative parenting households tend to exhibit higher levels of confidence compared to those raised in other parenting styles. When children are provided with clear expectations and consistent support from their parents, they are more likely to develop a positive self-image and believe in their own abilities. This confidence translates into a willingness to explore new opportunities, take on challenges and strive for personal growth. Ultimately, by fostering a sense of confidence in their children, authoritative parents are laying the groundwork for them to become resilient, independent teens who are unafraid to pursue their goals and dreams.

This strong foundation of confidence and self-assurance not only benefits children in their formative years but also carries over into their adult lives, shaping their beliefs and behaviors. It sets the stage for the next crucial aspect of authoritative parenting: promoting respect and independence in children as they navigate the complexities of the world around them.

Cultural considerations

While the core principles of authoritative parenting are universal, cultural nuances can influence how it’s applied. For instance, some cultures emphasize collectivism, where respect for elders and community expectations play a significant role in child-rearing. In such settings, authoritative parents might place a greater emphasis on fostering cooperation and social responsibility within established cultural norms.

What makes it work?

So, what are the key components that make authoritative parenting so effective? Here are a few crucial aspects:

Warmth and responsiveness: Authoritative parents create a nurturing environment where children feel loved and supported. They are attuned to their children’s emotional needs and offer comfort, guidance and encouragement. 

A mother and daughter hugging in the kitchen.
Photo credit: YayImages.

Clear and consistent expectations: Setting clear rules and expectations are key to an effective authoritative parenting style, ensuring children understand what’s expected of them. These expectations are age-appropriate and evolve alongside the child’s development. 

Open communication and reasoning: While clear rules are in place, it’s also important to encourage dialogue and explain the reasoning behind the rules. This helps children understand the purpose of the rules and promotes critical thinking skills even at toddler age.

Effective discipline: Authoritative parents emphasize positive reinforcement, praising desired behaviors and offering solutions when mistakes are made. They avoid harsh punishments and instead focus on teaching children from their experiences.

“As a homeschooling mother who also works from home, setting clear rules and boundaries is an important part of my parenting style. With children ranging from their early 30s down to my youngest, who is just 10, I’ve seen how this structure helps give the kids the confidence to create their own routines and successfully set, pursue and meet goals in post-secondary school and beyond. Plus, it helps prevent our household from turning into utter chaos.” 

— Sarita Harbour, Thrive at Home

Putting it into practice

Here are some practical tips for putting authoritative parenting principles into action.

  • Offer choices and encourage problem-solving: Allow your child to make reasonable choices within set boundaries. This encourages decision-making skills and empowers them to find solutions.
  • Explain your reasoning: When setting rules or giving instructions even to toddlers, explain the why behind them. This helps children understand the rationale and fosters a sense of ownership.
  • Cultivate a positive parent-child relationship: Central to authoritative parenting is the emphasis on building a positive and trusting relationship between parent and child. Create a safe space where your children feel valued and understood through open communication, active listening and mutual respect. 
  • Be consistent: Consistency in expectations and consequences is key. This creates a predictable environment where children understand what to expect.
A young girl is washing dishes in a kitchen sink.
Photo credit: YayImages.

One last thing

Remember, authoritative parenting doesn’t involve achieving perfect control or avoiding mistakes. It’s about fostering an open and collaborative relationship where your child feels supported and empowered to explore through play, learn and grow.

As your child journeys through life, the specific application of these principles will evolve, adapting to their age and individual needs. By remaining dedicated to the core values of warmth, guidance and trust, you can help your child navigate the world with confidence and become a capable, responsible individual.

Tamara Tsaturyan is the owner and writer of Thriving In Parenting, a website focused on providing simple tips for busy parents — easy and healthy recipes, home decor and organization ideas and all things parenting.

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