The first day of school comes with various emotions, from excitement to nervousness and even some tears from both kids and parents. It can be difficult to navigate and be ready for such a rollercoaster of feelings. Knowing how to prepare your child to help calm nerves and spare some sobbing can make the transition to school easier.
The goal is to ease the transition and build your child’s confidence before the first day. You’ll want to start preparing early and create a familiar routine. Talk through feelings and encourage independence and self-confidence. It’s also important to stay supportive after school. Here are some ideas to help you navigate this transition.
Start preparing early
Talk to your child about what to expect at school in the summer. Read books together about starting school to help start the conversation. As you read, your child might come up with questions. You can also point things out and explain what’s happening in the pictures.
Visit the school ahead of time to take a tour and meet the teacher, if possible. Even if you can’t go inside, walk around the outside and let them play on the playground. Getting familiar with the space can help ease first-day jitters and make everything feel a little less unknown. It also allows you to point out where they’ll enter, where you’ll pick them up and what to expect on that first morning.
“My kids always had bad school anxiety, so I learned that the best thing to do about it was to talk. Let them talk about their fears, anxieties and ask any questions they had. We took a tour of their school before the first day, met their teacher(s) and I made sure that they felt fully prepared for school. I think the worst thing that we do for kids is to tell them they shouldn’t be scared, because they can’t really help how they feel. Talking and feeling prepared is what they need the most.”
— Gena Lazcano, Ginger Casa
Create a familiar routine
Establish a consistent bedtime and morning routine at least a week before school starts so your child knows what to expect. Practice getting dressed, eating breakfast and packing up. You can even do a few practice runs to help the routine feel natural and stress free. The more familiar the routine feels, the less overwhelming that first morning will be.
Let them help pick out clothes so they feel more in control and excited, and make them wait until school starts to use their supplies to create enthusiasm when using them. Having something new to look forward to can help build positive anticipation for the big day. You might even let them lay everything out the night before to build excitement and reduce morning stress.
Talk through feelings
Encourage your child to share any worries or questions. Answer them to the best of your ability and calm their fears by explaining how things work at school. Stay composed and upbeat; your attitude sets the tone for the conversation.
Create a simple goodbye routine for comfort and consistency. Share a special wave or hug before your child walks into school or to the bus. This helps kids start the day on a positive note. Sticking to the same routine each morning can make drop-offs feel more predictable and less emotional.
Encourage independence and social confidence
Teach basic self-help skills like zipping a backpack and opening food independently. Practice introductions and simple ways to make friends. Reassure them that it’s okay to ask for help from teachers or other school staff. These small moments of independence can boost their confidence and make them feel more capable throughout the day.
You can also role-play different school scenarios at home, like asking to join a game or finding their cubby. This kind of pretend play helps them feel more prepared for real-life situations. Encourage them to speak up if they feel unsure or need something; remind them that teachers are there to help. The more comfortable they feel using their voice, the more confident they’ll be in navigating their day.
Stay supportive after school
Ask open-ended questions like, “What is something fun you did today?” or “Who did you play with at recess?” Don’t push for too much detail; kids may need some time to decompress. Celebrate small victories and keep open communication as they adjust. Even a simple “I’m proud of you” can go a long way in helping them feel supported and understood.
Give them space to relax after school, whether that means some quiet time, a snack, or a favorite activity. Avoid scheduling too much during the first week, as they may be more tired than usual. Keep your tone upbeat and reassuring, even if they say the day was hard. Let them know it’s okay to have mixed feelings and that you’re always there to listen.
Final thoughts
Adjustment takes time, and every child is different. With a little preparation and a lot of encouragement, the first day of school can be the start of something great for both of you. Be patient and stay positive. Remember, it gets easier with each passing day. Trust that your support now will help build the confidence they’ll carry all year long.
Celebrate the milestone together, whether it’s with a favorite dinner, a special treat or simply sharing stories about your own first days of school. Let them know how proud you are of their bravery. These early moments can shape how they view school for years to come. By showing up with encouragement, empathy and consistency, you’re setting the stage for a successful school experience.
Heidi is a vintage recipe blogger at Real Life of Lulu, where she focuses on recipes that are at least 50 years old, many from her grandparents’ kitchens. When she isn’t baking, she loves spending time with her husband and three kids.