Whether it’s the slow unraveling of a long-term relationship or an out-of-the-blue ghosting scenario, breakups hurt and they hit you hard. When the heart aches, it’s not uncommon to reach for a little edible comfort — ice cream, pizza, chips or whatever feels like a warm hug in food form. But does food actually help heal a broken heart, or is it simply a short-term coping mechanism?
What really happens when we eat our feelings? Is food just a temporary distraction, or does it play a bigger role in how we cope? From the nostalgic pull of childhood favorites to the dopamine rush provided by comfort food, the connection between heartbreak and eating runs deep.
Why we eat our feelings
Breakups can throw your body and emotions into chaos. Rejection and heartbreak often leave us reaching for high-fat, high-sugar foods that feel like a comforting escape during tough emotional moments. It’s not just about the cravings, though. Comfort food often feels like an escape because it’s tied to happy memories.
Think about it: that gooey mac and cheese might remind you of childhood, while a slice of pizza could bring back carefree nights with friends. These emotional associations can make comfort food feel like a lifeline when everything else seems upside down. Let’s take a closer look at why we turn to food in times of heartbreak, and how it can support — not replace — the process of emotional recovery.
Comfort food brings relief, but only for a moment
There’s a reason comfort food gets its name. Eating carb-heavy meals like mac and cheese or sugary treats like a butter cookie can bring a sense of comfort and distraction, making the pain of a breakup feel a little more distant, even if just for a moment. So for those blissful moments, it feels like the pain of the breakup has melted away.
But that relief doesn’t last. Once the rush fades, you’re left with the same heartache — and maybe a little regret for finishing that pint of ice cream. Emotional eating is a normal stress response, but it works best as a short-term coping mechanism, not a long-term solution.
Can food support emotional healing?
While comfort food offers quick relief, everyday meals can also be an important part of caring for ourselves during tough times. Choosing foods that feel nourishing and satisfying can be a way to rebuild some stability and routine when life feels chaotic. Balanced meals and nutrient-rich foods can support a stable mood and better energy levels over time.
For example, a simple meal with a mix of flavors and textures — like roasted veggies with rice or a hearty bowl of soup — can feel comforting and grounding. It’s not about chasing perfection or sticking to a specific diet. Instead, it’s about tuning in to what feels good for your body and what helps you feel your best as you heal.
The act of preparing a meal, no matter how simple, can also become a small moment of self-care. Even something as basic as cutting up fruit or brewing a cup of tea can feel like a meaningful gesture of kindness toward yourself.
The importance of small, simple choices
When your heart is aching, complicated cooking plans are the last thing you want. That’s why keeping things simple can help. Eating balanced meals — like a mix of protein, healthy fats and carbs — can provide steady energy when emotional exhaustion leaves you feeling drained.
A bowl of oatmeal topped with nuts and fruit in the morning, for example, is quick, comforting and nourishing. Or, if the thought of cooking overwhelms you, even assembling easy-to-grab snacks, like cheese and whole-grain crackers or sliced veggies with hummus, can be a small step toward self-care.
It’s not about perfection. It’s about small choices that help you feel like you’re moving forward, even on the days when it’s tough to get off the couch.
Treat yourself — mindfully
Let’s be real: Sometimes, eating your feelings is exactly what you need, and that’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with indulging in a favorite treat to lift your spirits, as long as it’s done mindfully.
The key is moderation. Instead of polishing off a whole pint of ice cream, try scooping out a smaller portion and savoring it. Treats should feel joyful, not ridden with guilt. Balancing those moments of indulgence with meals that genuinely nourish your body can make a world of difference in how you feel overall.
Food, rituals and the bigger picture
Breakups can leave you feeling unmoored like you’ve lost your sense of structure. Food can be a tool to regain some stability, not just as nourishment but as part of a routine. Creating small rituals around food — like making tea every morning or cooking a simple dinner — can help rebuild a sense of control.
These rituals, however small, offer more than just sustenance. They’re moments to pause, ground yourself and focus on something other than the swirl of emotions. Over time, these small acts of care can help you feel more connected to yourself.
Finding comfort beyond the plate
Can food heal a breakup? Not entirely. But it can help you find moments of comfort, stability and even joy as you navigate your emotions. A favorite treat can remind you of happier times, and a nourishing meal can be an act of care when you’re struggling.
At the end of the day, healing a broken heart takes time. While food alone won’t mend it, being intentional about how you eat can support you along the way. Breakups are tough, but you’re tougher — and you’ve got everything you need to bounce back.
Shruthi Baskaran-Makanju is a food and travel writer and a global food systems expert based in Seattle. She has lived in or traveled extensively to over 60 countries, and shares stories and recipes inspired by those travels on Urban Farmie.